came unmoored when my mom died suddenly in 2016. I was floating loose, more than a little lost.

The self definitions I’d used to tether myself to life as I knew it - to her as a mother, to me as a daughter - no longer held sway.

Looking back, I can see there was a gift in that.

Without any preconceived limitations, I was able to explore things I never would have tried. I played hooky to travel to a massive antiques week festival, I got up on a stage for an oral story telling competition, on a whim I enrolled in an art journaling class…

Growing up I had always thought my mom and my sister were the only artists in the family

Growing up I had always thought my mom and my sister were the artists in the family. They could both paint with seeming ease. I had artsy ideas, but my execution was, um…. lacking. I hadn’t really tried drawing anything since childhood. For years I’d been buying art supplies for no apparent reason. Markers, paints and papers piled up in cupboards, overflowed from drawers…. By the time I signed up for the art journaling class, it felt like I had nothing to lose.

A few weeks into the program, the assignment was to create a self portrait. I picked up an old photo and some watercolors. An hour later, much to my surprise, the result looked human (!?!). Not necessarily me exactly, but it was unmistakably a smiling, blond, not-terribly-misshapen human being. I was so surprised I may have actually even looked around me to see who’d drawn it! The next day I tried copying a painting on a cafe wall. And that result looked just like a beautiful beach and ocean and sand and sky. I couldn’t believe it.

The only explanation that made any sense to me was that my mother had somehow gifted me her art ability when she died.

Or at very least left me a legacy so I wouldn’t feel so alone. A few short years later, I cannot imagine my life without art. I started with watercolors: sketching everyday scenes, experimenting with different techniques, reading every urban sketchers how-to I could get my hands on…. Eventually a friend suggested acrylics and I got into abstracts. More books, more online classes later, I added collage and mixed media to to the list. I noticed the more I freed myself with art, the more other things in my life flowed. I used art to get out of my head, to move the grief in my body.

A few short years later, I cannot imagine my life without art

I believe at heart, we humans are creative beings. We’re always making something, whether we realize it our not - we create our days, our conversations, our outfits, our meals... ultimately our lives. For me, playing with paint, experimenting with form and texture and line and value IS the stuff of life. I don’t always love what I make, but I always love that I made it. And I think mom would too.

Today, in addition to fostering my own personal growth, I use painting as part of my coaching toolkit to help sensitive souls transform stuck energy so they can live fulfilled and flourishing lives - now!

Feeling stuck creatively?

@lisadlifeartist